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I’ll never punish my daughter for saying no.

The first time it comes out of her mouth, I’ll smile gleefully. As she repeats “No! No! No!” I’ll laugh, overjoyed. At a young age, she’ll have mastered a wonderful skill. A skill I’m still trying to learn. I know I’ll have to teach her that she has to eat her vegetables, and she has to take a nap. But “No” is not wrong. It is not disobedience.

1. She will know her feelings are valid.
2. She will know that when I no longer guide her, she still has a right to refuse.

The first time a boy pulls her hair after she says no, and the teacher tells her “boys will be boys,” we will go to her together, and explain that my daughter’s body is not a public amenity. That boy isn’t teasing her because he likes her, he is harassing her because it is allowed. I will not reinforce that opinion. If my son can understand that “no means no” so can everyone else’s.

3. She owes no one her silence, her time, or her cooperation.

The first time she tells a teacher, “No, that is wrong,” and proceeds to correct his public school, biased rhetoric, I’ll revel in the fact that she knows her history; that she knows our history. The first time she tells me “No” with the purpose and authority that each adult is entitled, I will stop. I will apologize. I will listen.

4. She is entitled to her feelings and her space. I, even a a parent, have no right to violate them.
5. No one has a right to violate them.

The first time my mother questions why I won’t make her kiss my great aunt at Christmas, I’ll explain that her space isn’t mine to control. That she gains nothing but self doubt when she is forced into unwanted affection. I’ll explain that “no” is a complete sentence. When the rest of my family questions why she is not made to wear a dress to our reunion dinner. I will explain that her expression is her own. It provides no growth to force her into unnecessary and unwanted situation.

6. She is entitled to her expression.

When my daughter leaves my home, and learns that the world is not as open, caring, and supportive as her mother, she will be prepared. She will know that she can return if she wishes, that the real world can wait. She will not want to. She will not need to. I will have prepared her, as much as I can, for a world that will try to push her down at every turn.

7. She is her own person. She is complete as she is.

I will never punish my daughter for saying no. I want “No” to be a familiar friend. I never want her to feel that she cannot say it. She will know how to call on “No” whenever it is needed, or wanted.

Lessons I Will Teach, Because the World Will Not — Y.S. (via poetryinspiredbyyou)


(via nai-volva)


Because comic sans always screams fun.

I’ve written a guide on making a map before and there are tons of tutorials in my map tag, but I’m going to make a guide for people who, like me, mostly just click stuff through trial and error or who aren’t that great at using photoshop. In that tag you can also find links to brushes for mountains, trees, castles, etc. and some information on geography.

I’ll show you how to get the effect in the above photo and how to generate different maps for your fictional world using the render cloud feature. I use cs2 to make maps. I downloaded it a long time ago, so I don’t remember where I got it, but there are tons of free versions out there if you look for them.

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1. An estimated 19–20 million unsafe abortions take place every year, 97% of these are in developing countries.

2. Despite its frequency, unsafe abortion remains one of the most neglected global public health challenges.

3. An estimated 68 000 women die every year from unsafe abortion, and millions more are injured, many permanently.

4. Leading causes of death are haemorrhage, infection, and poisoning from substances used to induce abortion.

5. Access to modern contraception can reduce but never eliminate the need for abortion.

6. Legalisation of abortion is a necessary but insufficient step toward eliminating unsafe abortion.

7. When abortion is made legal, safe, and easily accessible, women’s health rapidly improves. By contrast, women’s health deteriorates when access to safe abortion is made more difficult or illegal.

8. Legal abortion in developed countries is one of the safest procedures in contemporary practice, with case-fatality rates less than one death per 100 000 procedures.

9. Manual vacuum aspiration (a handheld syringe as a suction
source) and medical methods of inducing abortion have reduced

10. Treating complications of unsafe abortion overwhelms impoverished health-care services and diverts limited resources from other critical health-care programmes.

11. The underlying causes of this global pandemic are apathy and
disdain for women; they suffer and die because they are not valued.

World Health Organization (via naturalmomma)


I had someone tell me that dislike of Umbridge is usually from ingrained sexism toward female villains. I kind of stared in shock — I mean I love my lady villains. I love nasty female villains. I love sneaky and clever female villains. I love female villains that wrap themselves up in what the patriarchy expects of them and uses those expectations to smash someone upside the head. 

I tried to explain my hatred of Umbridge isn’t that she’s full of traditionally feminine attributes.  

It’s that she’s lawful evil. 

If you did an alignment chart, no one would represent lawful evil more than Umbridge. I don’t think there’s ever been a character that better sums up lawful evil. 

And, to me, lawful evil is the most terrifying and disturbing evil there is. 

To me, lawful evil is the shit that gets thousands of people killed while the person responsible walks away feeling like they did their duty. 

Evil forces like Bellatrix and Voldemort are fairy tales. They’re the bad guys a good guy can chase away with a sword or wand. 

Umbridge is that evil that really does lurk in the hears of men (and women). The realness, the plausibility of it, makes her amazingly uncomfortable. 

So, yeah, I can’t get as excited about her as a fantasy book creation as easily as some other female villains. Not because she’s a woman, or because of her gender presentation, but because she represents a sort of evil that’s far, far too close to home. 


Watching Pokémon on Saturday mornings as a kid

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